Saturday, September 1, 2007

Kinda feeling very funny today... Maybe is because of Teacher's Day. I think too much today, I feel that I am quite useless... Juz because of something that happened in my life that leave a big impact on me, I dare not return to my secondary school to visit all my wonderfullest teacher like Mrs Heng, Mr Lee, Mrs Jacqueline Ng, Mdm Rani and many many more. Although yesterday, I contact Mrs Heng telling her I will be back to see her but in the end, I did not... I am useless right? Juz because of a setback, I dun dare to go back cause of being... (I dun wish to say). But this thing really have to give me some time to sort out my thinking in order for me to really walk out of this big big circle... I felt that I am within this big circle for months and I really tried very hard to get out of it, but to no valid... Maybe is not because of teacher's day alone but is alone my beloved aunt third anniversary. Kinda miss her alot cause out of my aunt, I should said that I Love Her the most cause she doted on me and my sis... So no matter what, will be going to offer later... Haix... Sometime I really wonder that my friends would rather said me what happened in past and not to believe someone one-sided story that make me really awkward to talk to them..

Please, I am a vulnerable person who cannot really take any blow. I spent my whole one year thinking and trying hard to overcome everything but does it really help me? Seriously, I really dunno.. I really miss those days that I spent with my wonderfullest friends, spending those innocent, happy days together. I really miss those days. But if you all ask me to ask them out for a outing, I doubt I will be able to do so.

Sometime I really think that I am very lucky to know some friends like Jacqueline, Sebastian, JinYing and Joyce and many many more that really accompany me during those darkest days in my life and most importantly, the person that I really wish to thank is Mrs Heng... The WONDERFULLEST teacher in the world who really walk with me and gave me a lot of support for me stand up again... Once again, THANK Mrs Heng and also to wish other teacher who taught me a Happy Teacher's Day... In order to make up for me not going back today, I promise that I will find one day during my holiday and make a trip back to JSS and visit them..

But right now, I'm trying very hard to stand up again to find my previous me back and to solve and problem arising me with confidence and not too hide anymore!!!

(2:25 AM)