Monday, February 20, 2012
If this were to happen in the past, I guess I won't be in this predicament for so long. Really got no idea why am I feeling so down ever since then?!
If you all can't keep to your promise, then why bother making it at first?
Kinda feel so down and tired!
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9:22 PM)
Separation really freaked me badly. It really does! I dont know what Im thinking!
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11:22 PM)
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
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11:43 PM)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
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11:42 PM)
Sunday, December 18, 2011
I really hate crying! I guess I cried way way enough for this past few months. Enough is enough! If you all lovee me, just let me go then if that the way you all want! Better than giving me those on and off attention! It really suck!
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11:37 PM)
Suddenly feel so guilty when Zhi Hao said that sentence to me yesterday. I know is really unfair to you and derrick but that doesn't only apply to the both of you. Hiang Peng also one of them. Sorry, Is just that I'm not able to get past myself.
Perhaps one day, I will be able to accept you guys as one of my very close friends. Right now, I'm still struggling with my current situation with those people that I damn scared to lose them. Give me some time guys.
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2:10 PM)
Thursday, September 29, 2011
People cry not because they are weak,
Is becoz they are strong for too long.
Does this phrase of wisdom applied to me? I have no idea, I only know that Im really not in the best of the mood for the past two months. The thoughts of having to lose people I love yet matter is terrifying.
I always thought that what happened in the past made me stronger but I guess I am wrong. Everything I feel that history is going to repeat itself again, Im scared! What happened in the past is a mistake, a worst mistake I ever made. I shouldn't have allow people to come close to me and hurt me eventually.
Especially when you are being hurt by the person that you loved the most. And indeed, Im going through all this again. I had no idea why am I giving the same person a chance to hurt me over and over again! Sounds ridiculous right? But that the truth, perhaps the person matters too much that I can bear to let go?
Instead of letting go, I put up with all the nonsenses, hurtful messages and etc. Call me stupid, but when you met someone whom you really cherished, I bet you guys will do more crazy and unexplainable stuffs.
Emopotato =(
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3:22 PM)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
You guys just matter too much to me!
Baby, I just kinda love you too much. It just seem so weird, Is been so long since I can remember when is the last time you called me baby. Im still waiting for the day to come. You really does matters to me a lot but then is it the same for you too? Do I matter as much to you too? I read thru all the previous messages that we send to one another.
After reading thru it, tears came coming down my cheeks. I really miss those days when you send those sweet messages. I remembered reading one that goes this way 'Me: Why are you sad if I die, You: Coz you are my life' But is it really the same now?
I really dont know who Im talking to now. I only know that I hate the way we are behaving now, we seem so distant. I cant imagine the days when you are gone.
Know what, infront of you, I always have to pretend that Im fine when the actual facts is that Im not. I dont want you to think that Im always emo. But in actual fact is that Im really down! I no longer know how to cope with my emotion. I only know that you matters a lot to me. I love your companion. But right now, BABY, YOU SEEMS LIKE A STRANGER THAT DOESNT CARE ABOUT MY EXISTENCE!
=(
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9:05 PM)
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Is really not easy to cope with all this overwhelming emotions that is constantly bothering me over and over again.
The thought of having to lost baby, friends and whatever really freaked me out badly especially when my relationship with every one is deteriorating days by days especially with those people that I love.
I guess everyone undergo the feeling of separation before, so without explanation you all should know how it feels right? I am undergoing thru that everyday.
I no longer know how to communicate with people I love. I don't dare to go too near lest they find me a chore, move further from me. But then, it really hurts badly. I am so afraid that all the sacrifices I ever made for them is useless. I hate to be taken for granted! I am a human too! I got my feelings, emotions.
I yearned to be loved too! Why whenever is come to relationship, friendship and whatever shit, I am also the one bound to sacrifice. Am I that worthless?! I seriously had no idea anymore. I just hate my life more and more.
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12:37 PM)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I damn scare that I will lost BABYY!
Will the day come? I dare not think about it anymore!
FML )=
I feel fucking so insecure!
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11:19 PM)
